Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
