i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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