I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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