brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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