she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
