Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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