my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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