At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize