I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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