I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
