what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
third nipple confirmed
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
