Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize