Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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