the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
