Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
