I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Randomize
