My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
