I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize