"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
