Michael Bay diarrhea
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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