Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
