scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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