ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
