but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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