I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
