What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
