You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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