Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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