So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
