We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
