i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize