I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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