They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
