He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
