I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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