a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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