She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
