they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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