Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
What a dumb baby whore.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
