Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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