she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
