this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
