Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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