Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize