Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
