You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
