it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
