You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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