I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize