I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
