i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
