one two three fourrrrnication!
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
