Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
