when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize