you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
