And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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