on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
