There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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