it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
