hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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