Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
