Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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