Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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