She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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