Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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