it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
