does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize