Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
