we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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