To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
