I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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