Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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