He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
