i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
