I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Farmville is her only friend.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
