i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
