She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
