Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She told me I should be a condom model.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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