So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
