Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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