Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I touched a dick in church today
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
