guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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